This short exercise helps you uncover when and why you first started feeling socially anxious, and what beliefs were born from that moment.
It’s an important first step toward healing your social fear, because once the root cause becomes clear, the belief can finally be dismantled!

At For Future You, we believe in giving people practical tools they can apply right away. That’s why, at the end of this questionnaire, you’ll receive a simple exercise to help you implement what you’ve learned and track your progress immediately.

Please write honestly and take your time, that’s how you’ll uncover your root.
Find a quiet, safe, and relaxing space to sit down.You can write your answers in your notebook or anywhere you feel comfortable.

You’ve just taken the first step toward healing, and I’m so proud of you.

Good luck, you’ve got this!

 

 

 

When do I feel most uncomfortable or anxious around people?

Notice patterns. Is it when meeting new people, speaking up, or being watched?

When do you start to feel judged, small, or different?

 

When is the first time I remember feeling this way?

Think back to your earliest memory of feeling rejected, embarrassed, or inferior.

What was happening, who was there, and what did it make you believe about yourself?

(Example): “When I was bullied at school and everyone laughed.”)

 

What belief did I form because of that experience?

Write the exact phrases you started to believe.
What did you tell yourself in that moment?

(Examples): “I’m weird.” “I’m not enough.” “No one likes me.”

 

How have I been coping with, or overcompensating for, these beliefs?

Notice what you do to protect yourself from feeling rejected.
Do you avoid social situations, stay quiet, or overthink every interaction?
Or do you overcompensate by acting extra nice, trying to be perfect, people-pleasing, or making jokes to seem likable?
These behaviors once kept you safe, but they may now prevent real connection.

 

Are those beliefs still true today?

Ask yourself: Am I really in danger if someone doesn’t like me?

Are people truly judging me, or just living their own lives?
Recognize that these fears come from the past, not from who you are now.
Their opinions hold no real value regarding your worth but also remember this: you were almost always in survival mode.
You weren’t your relaxed, authentic self in those moments.
Most people never truly got to know the real you. So even if you felt judged or rejected back then, they were never actually judging you, only the guarded version that was trying to stay safe.

 

What new perspective can I choose instead?

Rewrite your inner script.
What if not being liked simply means a difference in preference, not a reflection of your worth? 
It’s time to rewrite the story you’ve been telling yourself.
What if the people who hurt or bullied you weren’t proving your flaws, but simply projecting their own pain?
It was never about you. You weren’t targeted because you were weak or unworthy, you were targeted because they were hurting and needed somewhere to put their pain.
Now, replace your old beliefs with new truths that empower you.

For  example: “It wasn’t my fault the way I was treated.”  “The shame, guilt, and self-hate are not mine to carry.” “They thought they broke me down, but they only made me stronger and wiser.”  
“I have worth, even if others couldn’t see it.” 
“I no longer let their opinions define my value.“From now on, I’m free from the shackles of their judgment.”

 

How would I comfort my younger self who first felt unsafe?

Imagine that younger you sitting in front of you.
What would you tell them now?
Write a short compassionate, and loving letter.
Example: “You didn’t deserve to be hurt. You were always enough and worthy of love and kindness” 
This helps release old shame and replaces fear with compassion.

 

Reprogramming of Your Beliefs – Practical Exercise

This exercise helps you turn awareness into real active change.
Write three new affirmations that dismantle your old beliefs.  

Examples:  
“I’m safe being my authentic self.”  
“I deserve respect.” 
“Not everyone has to like me, and that’s completely fine. I like me.”
“I don’t let other people’s opinions of me dictate how I see myself.”

Write your affirmations on a piece of paper and place it next to your bed, so you’ll always see it. Every morning when you wake up, and every night before you go to sleep, say your three affirmations out loud for two minutes. Say them with conviction, imagine yourself already living this truth.
This is how you reprogram your mind and anchor your new reality.

I also advise you to buy a notebook or journal to track your journey.
Every day, write down your three affirmations and rate each one from 1 to 10,  how strongly you believe it and how deeply you feel it.
Do this until the new beliefs feel fully integrated and natural.

You can combine this practice with my daily meditation and brain rewiring practices on how to truly love yourself, all parts of yourself, and on how to stop caring about what others think.

You can also integrate it with one of my at-home solo weekend retreats focused on self-love, or my at-home weekend brain spas, to deepen your transformation and make it lasting.